A guide for keeping a grip on your sanity during the holidays.
Ah, the holidays—a time for joy, laughter, and the occasional family squabble. If you train Jiu-Jitsu regularly then the holidays are often a time when you might find yourself off the mats with family for an extended period of time. You’re passionate about your art, but your family may not share your enthusiasm. Here’s how to navigate the holiday season with grace, humor, and a touch of Jiu-Jitsu wisdom.
Be an Ambassador of Jiu-Jitsu
First and foremost, remember that you represent the Jiu-Jitsu community. Your behavior reflects on the art as a whole. Show respect, patience, and humility. When Uncle Bob starts his annual rant about how “karate is the best martial art,” take a deep breath and smile. This is your chance to demonstrate the calm and collected demeanor that Jiu-Jitsu teaches.
Gauge the Interest
Not everyone at the dinner table wants to hear about your latest armbar technique. Gauge the interest level before diving into a detailed explanation of your last tournament. You might proud of that metal you won but you can’t make your family interested. If someone shows genuine curiosity, by all means, share your passion. But if Aunt Sally is more interested in her knitting, it’s best to not force the topic. Talk about shared interests, family memories, or holiday traditions. Remember, the goal of the holidays is to connect with your family.
Respect Boundaries
Don’t suplex grandma. Jokes aside one of the worse ways you can represent the art of Jiu-jitsu is to demonstrate it in a negative way. A sure way to do this is to get physical with you family members in an unwanted way. As Jiu-jitsu partitioners we often forget about how uncomfortable we were about being touch when we first started. It can be easily to want to play around with your family like you do your buddies on the mats however you have to remember most people are extremely uncomfortable when put in compromising positions. We have to respect our family members bodily autonomy. When you first learn Jiu-jitsu, it feels like you’ve just learned a superpower. Just because we know we can submit every single one of our family members back-to-back doesn’t mean we should. Unwanted wrestling, grabbing someone’s neck or practicing sneaky wrist lock are all a good way to piss off your family and make them look down on the art. By all means if your cousin wants to know what a choke feels like put them in one in a safe way but never initiate without consent.
Share Positively
When you do talk about Jiu-Jitsu, focus on the positive aspects. Share stories about the friendships you’ve made, the discipline you’ve developed, and the confidence you’ve gained. Avoid turning the conversation into a lecture or a bragging session. Your enthusiasm will shine through naturally when you speak from the heart. Stay away from the negative aspects of the art. Remember you are an ambassador of the art. We want to foster our family’s curiosity so that one day they may start training. If negative aspects of BJJ come up such as injuries remember to discuss them in a positive way. For example, ya you may have some knee problems, but maybe BJJ help you lose a lot of weight or not drink as much or just get of social anxiety.
Be Ready for Demonstrations
Inevitably, someone might ask for a demonstration. Be prepared but teach to the level of the room, keep it simple and safe. Show basic moves that you know well, emphasizing the principles of leverage and technique over brute strength. There are always going to be try hard’s and doubters. If your older brother tries to muscle out of submission be ready with the counter to whatever common untrained technique he is using. And if needed remind him that the living room is not the dojo—no one wants to see a full-on sparring match next to the Christmas tree. Moreover, when dealing with family members that want to test you be ready for the what if questions. The last thing you want is to have no answer to a basic question.
Lead by Example
Finally, there is no better way to show your family the benefits of Jiu-Jitsu than through your actions. None of us are perfect but we are all better off having trained than not. Show this by being your best self over the holidays. Be patient, kind, and respectful. Help out with holiday chores, listen attentively, and be present in the moment. Your behavior will speak volumes about the positive impact Jiu-Jitsu has had on your life.
Conclusion
Surviving the holidays with your extended family as a Jiu-Jitsu practitioner is all about balance. Be an ambassador for the art, be prepared for questions but respect your family’s boundaries if they are not interested. When asked, share your passion in a positive and mature way. Remember your goal over the holidays should always be to reconnect with your family first and foremost. With this mindset, you’ll navigate the holiday season with grace and maybe even inspire a few family members to join you on the mat. Happy holidays! 🎄🥋